We got back into the game but argued about the phone call again on the way home. We eventually agreed we just cannot see eye to eye on this situation. I am perplexed. Was I wrong to take this call?
You left your wife to answer trivia questions on her own? Unacceptable! While you may not have felt particularly competitive, it is still painful to be left solely responsible for what was supposed to be a team effort. Miss Manners believes that in this case, your phone call was far more trivial than the trivia. She suggests you apologize to your wife.
Dear Miss Manners: Being a brunette, I started getting gray hair in my early 20s, and it became noticeable in my mid-20s. I dyed my hair from about ages 26 to 32 to hide it but decided to stop, due to cost and it being generally not healthy. I’m now heading toward my late 30s and am probably one-third gray.
I receive so many comments from so many people about my gray hair. It’s never good/positive comments, and almost 100 percent from males. They’ll say things about how I should dye it to look younger, ask why I don’t dye it, or say I would look so much better with it dyed. Some are co-workers or others I know personally; other times, it’s random strangers I’m interacting with for the first time.
I think it’s rude. I never know how to respond. Any suggestions?
“I’m so sorry it bothers you. I’m happy with it.”
Dear Miss Manners: A friend of my parents likes to “teach” people, of all ages, new words. After someone has said something, she will introduce a word that she thinks they could have used:
“So, your brother wanted to aggrandize the situation, did he? Aggrandize it?”
“You don’t think her excuse had a modicum of truth? Not a modicum?”
Some people might find this acceptable if a child is being taught, but she will do this to adults in their 70s — who are 10 to 15 years older than her.
Perhaps you can come to their defense by saying, “Great Aunt Twyla, you choose your words so meticulously. They are meticulously chosen.”
New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday through Saturday on washingtonpost.com/advice. You can send questions to Miss Manners at her website, missmanners.com. You can also follow her @RealMissManners.
