But she is on the HOA and bends the rules at her convenience. She even screamed in my face when I asked her guest to move his car so I could pull out. I don’t want to alienate my neighbor. But I no longer want to be faced with giving up my parking spot or getting parked in. Is there a polite way to tell her no to any more requests to park in my spot?
The part that makes this difficult — and unfair — is that this neighbor is on the HOA. Miss Manners suggests that you use it against her: “Since you’re on the board, perhaps you can figure out a way to free up more parking spots. In the meantime, it’s just not possible for me to give up mine. I’m sure you understand how frustrating it is when you can’t access yours.”
Dear Miss Manners: Is it proper to eat fruit that is mixed into a beverage? Often when we are out, my partner will order a drink that has fruit muddled into the bottom of the glass. He will finish the drink and then use his fingers, a fork or spoon to sift through the ice and scoop out the fruit to eat. Personally, I find it off-putting, but I know that I am more sensitive to embarrassment than most. Where does Miss Manners lie on the fruity drink issue?
As long as it can be done gracefully, Miss Manners sees nothing wrong with consuming the entire contents of one’s drink, even the garnishes. But being off-putting to one’s partner (especially with the use of fingers) does not sound graceful.
Dear Miss Manners: We have relatively new next-door neighbors who we see in passing each day. Today we found a lovely gift on our front steps with a card addressed to my husband (correct name) and me (wrong name). How do I point out the mistake without overly embarrassing these thoughtful neighbors? Shall I write a thank-you note and sign it with our (correct) names or speak to them in a manner that will laugh off the error?
The thank-you letter is the easiest route, but if your neighbor persists in the error, you can blame yourself. “It’s actually Alison, not Angelina. I suppose my handwriting might be hard to read.”
New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday through Saturday on washingtonpost.com/advice. You can send questions to Miss Manners at her website, missmanners.com. You can also follow her @RealMissManners.