Dear Miss Manners: I enjoy cooking and setting a nice table, and my spouse and I often invite several couples over for dinner. After the meal, I have come upon a problem: I don’t feel right clearing the table for able-bodied adults of equal status to me.
In the past, I joined in clearing family members’ dishes as a sign of respect for my in-laws or parents who were hosting, and I always scrape and rinse my own plate at friends’ houses. But I just don’t feel right taking the plates of our friends as they sit there with their posteriors glued to their chairs.
