Carolyn Hax is away. The following first appeared March 31, 2010, and has been lightly edited.
Hi, Carolyn: I keep hearing you shouldn’t be in a relationship unless you’re perfectly happy without one. But if you’re totally happy being alone, why would you ever want to be in a relationship? I’m not being facetious, I really don’t get it. Relationships are hard work, and they require a lot of selflessness.