Why Canadians should go to Mexico instead of Florida

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It is early winter, and I’m standing in the town square in San Jose del Cabo, in front of its striking cathedral that dates to the 1700s.

At the time Donald Trump had yet to make clear his plans to bully his neighbours, but as a Canadian in Mexico, there is a whiff of uncertainty in the air about what the lumbering elephant in between us might do. Our tour guide explains that the cathedral is one of many built by Jesuit missionaries in Baja California, the part of Mexico that sticks out like a finger into the Pacific Ocean on its west coast.

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One of those missionaries, he says, fell out of favour with the locals. The lore is that he became romantically involved with a woman, which doesn’t sound very priestly, but our guide says that part of the story is not exactly codified. Anyway, the priest was murdered.

The guide points to a mosaic above the cathedral’s main entrance: “It is depicted here,” he says. I looked up with a start. Hot damn, they really did it. Three hundred years later the murder mosaic sits, on a church of all places, as some kind of warning to would-be settlers: Careful with those hands, you.

I’ve thought about that scene a bit recently. Now, THAT is how you deal with someone who says he comes in peace but actually has other intentions.

Of course, the other way to deal with our bullying neighbour is to interact with America as little as possible, which a lot of Canadians are now enthusiastically doing. And that’s how we get to the real thesis of this piece: Why Canadians Should go to Mexico Instead of Florida. Let my first-hand research be your guide.

Weather

If you have spent much time at all vacationing in Florida in the winter, you’ll know that it’s pretty much a weather crapshoot. Sure, it’s warmer than here, but it’s not uncommon for stretches when the daily highs barely make the teens. This is when there are stories on the local news about iguanas falling out of trees because they have been chilled into hibernation. But, Mexico? Hot and sunny! Cabo San Lucas, our tour guide tells us, has rain on only 15 days annually. Leave the umbrella at home!

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Golf

Yes, yes, Florida has lots of golf. But some of the golf in Mexico is incredible. In Cabo San Lucas, I played Quivira Golf Club, designed by Jack Nicklaus (Trump fan, but what can you do), over a stretch of seaside land that felt like it only could have existed in a video game unencumbered by the laws of nature. There is coastal golf, and there is mountain golf, but Quivira offers coastal mountain golf, which I did not previously know was a thing. Beyond the scenery, Quivira includes a number of ‘comfort stations” throughout the round. I know, this sounds like a fancy word for “toilet,” but they are in fact fully serviced food and drink stations. And everything is included! Beer, margaritas, snacks, freshly made tacos and on and on. One of them, perched on the mountainside between the fifth and six holes, has stunning views of the ocean. And free cerveza! Not only did I never want to golf in Florida again, I never wanted to leave.

Tequila

Do you like American bourbon? I know, it is delicious. I will miss it. But you can get by with similar whiskeys. In Mexico, however, you will hardly even notice not having it because there is so much tasty tequila! And, no offence to Jose Cuervo and other such capitans, but the tequila industry has really stepped up its game since you were horribly hungover from a night with the cheap stuff in Cancun on spring break that one time. (Maybe that was just me.) A local guide explained that the demand for high-end tequila has taken off and now even some mezcal — once Mexico’s version of moonshine — is produced with some of the same fancy characteristics of whiskey. (Bonus fact: Casamigos, one of the more popular high-end brands, was co-founded by noted Trump foil George Clooney.) My guide suggested I try a glass of Maestro Dobel Diamante, and shook his head violently at the notion that I might sully it with lime or ice. And he was right: it was excellent. See you in four years, bourbon.

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Food

Let’s be honest here: A nice meal out in Florida is at Applebee’s. Maybe Olive Garden if you want to get crazy. I used to visit central Florida most winters to see family, and we went to this place near Orlando called Dixie Crossroads, which was famous for serving shocking amounts of shrimp at reasonable prices, but you wouldn’t call it a culinary feat. But Mexican food is a delight, and in a place like Cabo the seafood is fresh and the options are many. On back-to-back nights I went to La Lupita in San Jose, where the only challenge was choosing from among so many taco options, and the Nicksan at the famous Palmilla Resort, where mercifully they did a tasting menu so I didn’t have to suffer through choosing again. Five stars.

Even more golf

Back in Trump 1.0, when it was surprising and offensive when he would casually refer to immigrants as “rapists,” as opposed to now, when it is just a regular Tuesday, the PGA Tour decided it wanted to be out of the Trump business. It relocated one its tournaments from a Trump-owned course to Mexico, and now the country is home to multiple PGA Tour events. The one in Los Cabos takes place at the Diamante Cabo San Lucas resort, on a course designed by Tiger Woods (Trump fan, but what can you do). Bonus fact: Not unlike Florida, the resort also sells real estate with golf course views, and as I was watching the PGA tournament from the stands near the 17th green, I could see a yard with a Canadian flag waving proudly on a pole. A tip of the cap to those residents, because they already had it figured out.

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